Celibacy Blues

Recently I was talking to some friends about sex. Ok, calm down, it’s not what you think. LOL! We were talking about celibacy and how what that word’s meaning has changed over the years. Like, in our 20’s after one bad relationship, we might have decided we needed to chill out on sex for a while. But really nothing came from those stints of celibacy except we could can say that we’re virgins again– kind of. 🙂

In this season of my life, my thoughts on celibacy are a little different. I’ve been celibate since I started my divorce process and I think a lot of things have come from it this time. First, I’ve gotten a sense of learning God and his love for me. Plus, I’ve been learning more about myself, what I need, and what I can offer to a partner in my next relationship.

Sometimes we think, if we “save ourselves” that’s all we need to get a great guy. But I would suggest being celibate with a bigger purpose than just getting a man. Use it to get yourself nailed down in your career, not just your love life.

Fall in love with yourself, with your healing, with your dreams and then, later, add your love life into the mix. Try not to throw a man into the middle of your situation while you are still healing. That’s like adding oil and water– it just won’t work! Focus on you first. Just you and what you want to do. And then you’ll know when the time is right to let a man come calling. 

- XOXO, Wasidah


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