Shake (Off) What Your Mama Gave Ya

Continuing last week’s theme of infertility, I’d like to talk about a really interesting idea. It’s the concept of “inherited trauma.” Think about it this way: studies have shown that babies can hear us when we talk to them, right? Well, in the same way, our babies can feel and be affected by our trauma. I learned about this concept while taking doula classes with Lathan Thomas and there is a lot of information out there about it. Mark Wolynn wrote a book called It Didn’t Sart With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle. In it, he writes about how many of us have to walk through life with anxieties, depressions and/or obsessive thoughts that we can’t control or figure out. Often these issues are leftover from our parents or grandparents. Here’s a great example. One of Mark’s clients became consumed with the fear of hurting her child after she had a baby. It took a bit of digging but eventually, Mark discovered that the woman’s grandmother had accidentally killed her newborn baby. Even though this trauma only happened to her grandmother, the anxiety associated with harming a baby had been passed two generations down to Mark’s client. Deep, right? This really puts your family history into perspective! What at the stories that your mom has told you about her life? Do you see any traumas that could have a bearing on how you view the world? It’s worth looking at because the only way to eliminate those bad feelings before your child inherits them is to unpack them. Thanksgiving is coming up … so make sure you ask your parents about some of the challenges that affected their lives. Your child-to-be will thank you.

Leave a Reply