You Are The Bag … Secure Yourself

Hey guys!


Did you know that it takes the average woman eight tries to break out of an abusive relationship? Eight tries! Yeah, me either. I just learned this fact while talking to a group of ladies at a women’s shelter.


If you’ve been following me, you already know that I had a great time giving back at a local women’s shelter during the Christmas season. I really felt like I made an impact and, fortunately, I was been asked to do more of the same at a different women’s shelter in Brooklyn.


Funny thing– right before the event, I pulled a tarot card and it was the Black Madonna which basically represents taking darkness and turning it into light. That’s the perfect card for helping women who have been faced with lots of hardship. Now, I don’t use tarot cars the way most people do. I usually pull a card for the day after I pray and meditate. And the deck I used is The Divine Feminine Oracle — a female-focused tarot deck created by Meggan Watterson. Anyway, encouraged by the Black Madonna, I set out to give gave them my tips for turning their lives around!


Some of these women were just getting back into the workforce after a long absence or even trying to work for the very first time. They were stressed about it– for good reason– so I shared my story about how I turned my life around through self-care and meditation. Often, there isn’t enough information given to women in low-income communities about how to change their life from the inside out. That’s my mission. My tips?


Tip #1:

Love yourself. I talked about how a lack of self-love and self-esteem can lead to picking the wrong partners and friends. Learning to love yourself will help you chose someone who really loves you, not someone who just fills a void. Being still and meditating can help you find out what you love about yourself. 


Tip #2:

The power is within. I told them that we have everything we need inside of us. I stressed that it’s important to know that their power is within — otherwise, they’ll spend all their time looking for someone or something to give them what they think they need.


Tip #3:

Go with the flow. I also talked about letting life flow. A few of the women wanted to know when I’m having a baby since I’m a doula. Fair question but right now I’m just going with the flow. A baby isn’t what I want now but that could change. I leave it to God!


I’m hoping that my tips and suggestions will help these women avoid choosing men who end up being abusive. That way they don’t even need to worry about trying to get away eight times. Ain’t nobody got time for that!